Today I am exhausted. I spent the morning at the church we will be using for a pancake breakfast fundraiser and we'll spend the evening touring the facility we plan to use for our Cabaret Night in August. I have emailed, facebooked, talked to neighbors and done all that I can to let people know about these two events. I have gone store to store for donations. Mentally, I am spent from the endless lists floating in my head about who might be able to help us and what we still need to accomplish.
Moments ago I checked our fundraiser page. 1 supporter. I could choose to let fear in. I could worry about where the money is going to come from (and some days I do, lets just be honest) but today I am going to choose to look to God. Yesterday I wrote this to a family member:
I kind of feel like I am running this race with a million weights tied to my legs making each step next to impossible, but then I look to my left and I see Bill right beside me and I know neither one of us is going to give up. We will love this kid forever even if it never gets any easier.
None of this has been easy but the love in my heart continues to grow for a little boy I've never even met.
Our church used to use the phrase "find your place in God's story." I love seeing the world this way. Ultimately, I am just one person in a world of billions of people. I will live a certain number of years and then I'll be gone. But God's story spans the ends of time. I could choose to feel insignificant. Or I could realize that I get to be Simon and Cara's Mom. I get to be the one running this marathon of life beside Bill cheering him on as he leads our family. It's my place in God's story and it's awesome.
So today I am not going to freak out about the finances or worry about traveling halfway around the world and back...nope today I'm gonna look to God for strength and teach my kids to do the same. As long as I am following Him I know I'm right where I am meant to be.
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