Best

Another two weeks of radio silence. What I have come to appreciate is the truth that God can move mountains in the silence. While we were waiting on the wait list, God was helping a mother choose life for her unborn child. While we were updating our home study (again!), God had our social worker preparing paperwork for Simon. While we prepared our home for Simon, God was preparing Uncle Eric's heart for a life changing decision. So hearing nothing no longer means that nothing is happening.

In the meantime I have been reflecting on all the times I had 'good' or 'better' and God wiped it out to bring what was 'best.' In college I dated a guy that met every one of my criteria for a husband (it was a really, REALLY long list). It was good. We had everything going for us and then without explanation it ended. I remember being confused and disappointed but not sad because I trusted God that it ended for a reason even if I didn't know the reason and that God would only bring me better. Two months later I reconnected with Billy Kamps. Clearly God's best!

During our first year of marriage Bill and I made an offer on a house on Locust Ave. It was adorable and move in ready with new appliances, carpet, etc. It was good. Our offer was denied. A few weeks later we were under contract for a house on Wood Street. It had a ton of character and a great location. It was better. It also had corrupt owners. We walked away confused and disappointed but trusting that somehow there was something else out there for us. Not even a week later we made an offer on a run down, beat up, ugly house on West Union Street. We nick named it "The Promised Land" (long story, good story ask me to tell you sometime). There was nothing about it that made it the obvious choice but we felt God asking us to take a leap of faith. After a little elbow grease (and a lot of help from Bill's dad) there is no doubt that this house is God's best for us. In no way the easiest but absolutely the best.

So as I sit and think back on all the ways that Simon is so perfect for our family, I wrestle. The more I get to know about him, the more I feel like Simon is the best fit for our family. However, I realize I am still in the middle of the story and that often means that my perspective is distorted. What I have learned from my past is that I can trust God's plan. It's either Simon or it's not, but it will absolutely be God's best for us (even if we were confused and disappointed at first). I would not change a thing about how God has authored my story thus far and I am not about to pick up the pen and start writing it on my own. I continue to trust the one who can see the completed picture before it's even begun.

What really brings joy to my heart through all this though is that God took a little boy who was unwanted and he managed to put before him not one, but two possibilities for an incredible future. He really is a God that makes something out of nothing. Simon Peter, this much is sure...you are loved by God and your future is bright. I still ask God everyday if I can be your mom forever and I thank him for every single moment I've gotten to love you thus far. Not a second has been wasted and when we all look back one day it will be clear...it will be God's BEST!