This summer I (Lauren) took a job teaching at a christian summer camp. It has been truly wonderful to connect with the kids and share my passion for God with them. What I was not prepared for was the added spiritual battle. Almost immediately I've been feeling like Eeyore with an added cloud of gloom following me around in everything I do. Some days are easier than other but this past week and a half has been almost unbearable.
Sometimes when you're walking around in a cloud of gloom the simplest lies can seem believable. One of the main lies that has been trying to take over my thoughts is that this adoption is never actually going to happen.
Last week my mother-in-law (Cathy Kamps) spoke some great wisdom into my cloud of gloom. She told me to cling to what I know to be truth and to ignore anything else. Today as I was feeling particularly burdened I turned to scripture and found the same wisdom and hope in Psalm 40.
"Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord; may your LOVE and TRUTH always protect me. For troubles without number surround me...my heart fails within me. Be pleased, O Lord to save me; O Lord come quickly to help me."
So here's what I know to be truth in this situation:
TRUTH: We have an amazing marriage built on a great friendship
TRUTH: We are united in our desire to adopt internationally
TRUTH: God has been with us through every step of this journey from day 1.
TRUTH: Despite a tight budget God has provided every penny we have needed for the almost $10,000 in adoption bills we have paid thus far.
TRUTH: God is in control of this process, it's timing, and who will become part of our family.
TRUTH: We have passed every interview and perceived road block with flying colors.
So tonight I rest in truth, ignore the lies and I trust in God.
