When Joy Outweighs Your Sorrow

Last night I received incredible news from a dear friend. Although our journeys are different, she and I have stood by one another during seasons of heartbreak and disappointment. Waiting is never easy no matter what you are waiting on. It is especially hard when you feel like what you are waiting for is a God given desire. This friend understood that more than anyone else. There were many times when I picked up my phone to reach out to her because she was someone safe for me. I could text her and honestly say whatever irrational and ridiculous thought was overwhelming my heart at the moment and she wouldn't correct me or try to fix me. She would just empathize with my pain and understand that I already knew the things that would carry me through, I just needed to cry for a bit.

As I fell asleep I was overjoyed knowing that God was beginning to answer her prayer. I tried to think back to all the times we had comforted one another. The hours of prayers and conversations. I tried to think back and remember the days when I could barely get off the couch because of my sorrow...and you know what? I couldn't. I know these days occurred because I lived them, but I can no longer dwell in the pain of the past. Somehow, without me even realizing it, God has begun to heal the wounds of waiting. Each day as I watch Isaac laugh and kiss his sweet face I feel the strain of all it took to get here less and less.

Walking in obedience to Gods call is rarely easy, in fact it is often hard, but it is ALWAYS worth it. I only hope I can remember that truth as we continue forward.

When He Takes It Out On Me

Isaac is grieving the loss of Cara and Bill. What this means for me is that he is throwing fits and disobeying in every way he knows how. He has tried everything from hunger strikes to forcing himself to throw up at the table. Issues we tackled weeks ago like "don't stick your finger in the power strip" are resurfacing as deliberate attempts to frustrate me. He is refusing to sleep and enjoys keeping me awake.

I have spent moments angry and moments broken. I have spent even more moments praying for patience and practicing controlled breathing to avoid reacting out of anger.

Today our disobedience led us to an afternoon alone in the room. As we played with toys and Isaac continued to act out in any way he knew how I somehow heard the Lord speak to my heart. He said to me:

"When you are hurt you often take it out on the ones you love most. How often do you turn to Me in anger when things disappoint you? When you kick and scream and mope I lovingly wait for you to be done and then cradle you in my arms to begin the healing process."

The only time Isaac and I weren't fighting today was when we were playing the huggie game: Isaac runs to me for a hug only to say "all done" seconds later and I hug him longer anyway and cover his face with kisses. I realized that while my reaction was to punish Isaac for his misbehavior by taking away the toys that he threw at my head or asking him to sit quietly in the chair for hitting me. These actions would be right if he were acting in defiance but God reminded me that I am caring for a broken heart. That grace extends beyond thrown toys. I imagined how many times God listens to someone curse his name one moment and then lovingly welcomes them back into his arms the next (think of the prodigal son).

I had been reacting all wrong. I was distancing myself from Isaac because I didn't want to react out of anger. I was protecting myself. I was focused on the behaviors and I missed the cry for help.

I knelt down and engaged my son. He crawled in my lap and we played like that for the next hour. We snuggled and I whispered in his ear that I loved him. We watched videos from everyone at the babies home [we had them each record a message for Isaac as a goodbye or advice for the future]. He heard again and again that he was valued and loved and would not forgotten. I took my time washing him and rubbing lotion on his sweet skin. I lovingly got him ready for bed and then snuggled with him again in the chair until he asked for his crib to sleep.

I am sure that tomorrow will also be a nightmare. How many times have we all accepted Gods forgiveness only to turn around and scorn him again? My hope is that God will give me the patience and strength to be able to extend the forgiveness Isaac needs as he grieves. I am asking for the wisdom to balance discipline with love, to look beyond the behavior and see the pain and confusion in his eyes. I am also asking God to speak to his heart and help him trust that Bill is not gone, but he has gone ahead to prepare for us, we will see him again soon enough...if only there was a good example of that in the bible somewhere? lol

A Good Friend Goes A Long Way

One of the benefits of the guest house where we are staying is that many adoptive families frequent here. One in particular has taken me under their wing. Gina is here with her mother-in-law, Lori, (Gina's husband had to return to work as well) and they are adopting two boys. Today they invited us out to a local mall to go to lunch and visit a very nice play place. It was just the thing I needed to distract me while I waited to hear that the flight had landed. Isaac loved throwing balls and climbing all around.

Gina and I got to talk while the boys played and once again I was reminded that I am not alone. While we were at the play place I got an email that we will be at Embassy on Monday (typically visa 48 hours after). Six days left and counting!

The Call to Worship

There is a mosque near our guest house. It plays the call to worship and pray six times a day. One of the things I love about the Muslim faith is their commitment and discipline. It is hard to stop everything and focus on God that many times a day. I might not be praying to the same God but I appreciate the frequent reminders to take my thoughts captive and depend on Jesus.

Sleeping last night was hard without Bill and Cara. I have had several panic attacks at night while I have been here. It seems that the times that God is most at work are the times when I am irrationally unable to sleep. I was very concerned that I might not be able to sleep and I would have no one to help calm me down this time. However, sometimes when we are most broken we are then able to surrender our own efforts and depend on God the way we should. I spoke scripture out loud and took my thoughts captive. There was no need to cross over to the side of panic. One last text from a good friend read "You are not alone." It was what I needed to hear most. Bill might not be here to be hug me but I am not alone. (His hugs are so healing I often think God gave him arms just to hug me :) These are the things you "know" but take for granted. Thank you to everyone that prayed for me. I slept soundly knowing I was not alone.

An Unwelcomed Goodbye

The Unwelcomed Goodbye

First a look at our new digs. We moved into Kampala in expectation of our Embassy appointment.

We are in a very nice part of town that is walking distance from the US Embassy. This is our view of Kampala.

This is the view from our room at night

sunrise from our room

This is Roxy. Reeses owes her everything. Isaac has a very deep fear of dogs and Roxy is slowly winning him over. He even touched her today!

Isaac is obsessed with these toy Boda Boda's that they have here.

Now for the hard news:

Today we had a setback in our plans. We were waiting for an email from the embassy telling us to come and file our paperwork tomorrow and instead we got a call from IOM asking us to come back in. They gave no explanation but we were told to come right away.

We arrived and were processed immediately to see the doctor. As we walked back it was clear we were seeing a different doctor this time. He said he noticed that Isaac's file said his lymph nodes were enlarged and that he wanted to double check him in person before sending our file over to the Embassy.

In the end Isaac passed again and no further testing was needed, but the sad truth was that this changes things in an irreversible way. It is hard to predict how quickly our file will make it to the Embassy. We kindly mentioned to the doctor that we had moved our family into Kampala with the hopes of being at the Embassy soon and I swear he laughed under his breath.

It is hard saying goodbye to Bill and Cara without knowing when we will see each other again. It's possible that Isaac and I will be celebrating his birthday here instead of with family as we had hoped. However, it was just yesterday that God was teaching me the ways that he is in control and even delays can be a blessing. I will choose to have hope that there is a reason for this disappointing news.

Even still, last night I cried over Cara as she was getting ready for bed. The time difference means that I will only get to hear her sweet voice for a few moments each day. First she said to me "Don't worry Mommy you'll dream about me every night and I'll dream about you." I told her how glad I was that she got to come to Africa with us and be a part of this journey. I listed off things I loved about having her with us and when I got to collecting flowers she said "Don't worry mommy I will still pick you flowers and throw them around the world to you. Every time you see a flower fall from a bush or a tree that will be me sending you my love." THEN she said "Please don't cry Mommy, I'll say hello to the moon and stars every night and that will mean I love you." By this point the tears were rolling steadily down my face. She's like a Hallmark card!

She spent all day encouraging me but also saying "I'm gonna miss you Mommy." We took one last adventure to the equator as a family before we had to say goodbye.

Back at Herb and Ellen's (the guest house we are staying at in Kampala) we enjoyed dinner together and I once again got to remind her that she needed to finish all her food. All too soon it was time to say goodbye. The sweet little girl who had been so brave finally broke down in tears. She begged for me to get on the plane with her. We both cried as we hugged and I assured her that I would be home as soon as possible. I am so thankful that I didn't have to have this moment 8 weeks ago. It would have been unbareable. Isaac and Bill said their goodbyes and then Bill took Cara from me. I tried hard to be brave for her like she was for me but it was too much to watch the gate close without knowing when I would see them again.

The car taking them to the airport is here :(

Thankfully, parenting never stops and Isaac needed me to watch him play. Thankful for the distraction I began my new season of waiting. (This mostly included texting with my best friends and my dad until I fell asleep)

Unexpected Blessings in Our Delay

We all have our perfect plan of how we want things to go in life. Our perfect plan was being at the Embassy on Monday, January 26th. This meant that we could process our paperwork in time to all be on the save flight on Wednesday night. However, we never got the call for a Monday appointment and when we tried to arrange for transport into Kampala on Sunday we found several conflicts that meant we needed to stay at African Village an extra night. This was not entirely a disappointment to us because we truly loved staying there and we were hesitant to say goodbye.

Halfway through Sunday we found out that Monday, January 26th is Liberation Day in Uganda and all offices are closed. No chance at Embassy. We called our driver and told him there was no rush, we would use Monday to say goodbye to our Friends at African Village.

What we didn't know (but should have known) is that God was way ahead of us. We spent the morning with Olivia, one of the wait staff that Cara made friends with during our time here. It was very sweet to watch Cara say goodbye and shower Olivia with gifts only a 5 year old would give, like feathers and flowers she has found throughout our trip.

Afterward, the reception office at the hotel was having difficulty processing our bill so we took the extra time to walk down and say goodbye to Jochim (and the kittens). Jochim had the kindest words for us and wished us a safe journey home.

We met up with Raymond, our driver, but he had a few goodbyes of his own he wanted to make, so we walked back toward the hotel on our own. As we passed the cafe we saw Eva Maria outside on her phone. Eva Maria manages the hotel at African Village and went out of her way to take incredible care of us during our stay. She waved for us to come over and we took the opportunity to say goodbye and thank her for managing a staff that always goes so far above and beyond.

Little did we know that the entire staff was assembled in the cafe. Eva Maria offered us a slice of cake to say goodbye. When we stepped through the door we saw everyone assembled (we think for a staff meeting). Everyone from the chefs at the restaurant to the cleaning staff, reception staff, cafe staff, drivers, tour guides, gardening crew etc was there. For a moment it was a glimpse of what it must be like to walk into heaven and unexpectedly see everyone you love all gathered in one place smiling back at you.

They served us cake and soda and shared their goodbyes with us. Then the entire staff stood and sang "Their is Power in the Name of Jesus" over our family and then everyone prayed in unison for our journey home and the journey of raising our family. Finally, the head of housekeeping said a closing prayer wishing us a swift time at Embassy in Kampala and a safe journey home.

Bill was able to share with the entire staff how much we enjoyed our stay and felt like family during our time at African Village. There was not a person in the room that had not greeted us regularly, knew Isaac's name and story, and gone out of their way to do something special for us during our stay. There were the cleaning ladies who not only cleaned but put fresh roses in our room for Christmas. There was the chef who made us special order food more than once when he didn't have to. The gardeners who couldn't speak English but would still bring Cara fresh cut flowers from their clippings. The drivers who had taken us on many adventures and taken the time to learn about our story as a family. The bakers who made Cara's birthday cake and greeted us happily on our weekly dessert night as a family. The pool staff that brought us chairs and swimmies and cheered as Isaac learned to swim. The restaurant staff who waited patiently as Cara came out of her shell and got to know them over meals. The servers who got to the point where they knew which beverages to bring without asking and how to plate Cara and Isaac's food according to what they each liked best. Even poor Gideon who woke up in the middle of the night to rescue us when our pipe burst in the bathroom (a night I'll never forget!). I could go on and on about the staff and how they loved us. It was so special to be able to tell them all together how much we appreciated each one of them. If we had gone into Kampala on Sunday we would have missed this beautiful moment.

We continue to be blessed with beautiful moments we couldn't have expected. Bill and I joke that we are truly getting the deluxe package. Being in Mukono has meant that we have spent more time with the Ken and Cathy and their family than any other adoptive family so far. It also allowed us to spend extended time at the babies home and get to know everyone there. Our connections at African Village brought us to prayer mountain and it's beautiful view of Jinja. 

It's hard to even summarize it all. I hope We love Uganda, it is beautiful, but what makes it spectacular are the relationships we have made during our time here.

Cara with the restaurant staff.

This is our social worker, Lisa, that matched us with Isaac

These are the women that had to clean our room everyday. Such a blessing!

The Beginning of Goodbye

Today was our last day at the babies home. Even with all the time that has passed it seems odd to be at this day already. How do you begin to express your gratitude toward a family of people who has stood in the gap for your child? They have nursed him back to health and loved him as their own for over a year now. Words failed me as I prepared to begin our goodbye.

The day was beautiful and we spent time playing with the kids and checking on the babies as always. We made sure to take a lot of pictures just in-case we missed something along the way. Isaac enjoyed lunch with his friends and eating with his hands again (we have been working on using a fork). 

Ken and Cathy purchased a cake that said "We will Miss You" and had a special time with all the children to celebrate Isaac's adoption. At the count of three Isaac and his nanny, Miriam, cut the cake together, similar to how we do it at weddings, and everyone cheered. The staff said some very kind words and thanked us for sharing time with them. I was overwhelmed with emotion and tears (for the second time that day...okay third). I am so thankful. It was hard watching the staff become emotional as well, although they hid it much better than I did. The reality is that while we celebrate the good, adoption is actually a story of great loss. 

It will be hard to explain to Isaac one day why we felt it would be better for him to leave everything he has come to know and love to join us in a land totally foreign to him. Many people think "He should be grateful to have such a loving and wonderful family adopt him" and while there is some truth to that, no one should have to be grateful for loosing their birth family, their culture, and their way of life. 

I am so thankful for the time we have had in Uganda to earn Isaac's trust and to love him unconditionally. I am in awe of the way God has guided this process in country and of the incredible progress we have seen Isaac make verbally and socially in such a short time. I hope one day that God allows Isaac to see His hand in all this and that Isaac will be able to trust God to redeem the pain of his past.

I too had to grieve a loss today as we said goodbye to Simon. I too have loved a child for more than a year and have had to say goodbye. Perhaps this is why I cried so hard for the nannies. It is impossible to love someone so completely and then watch them walk away toward a future you have no control over. All you can do is remember that God has a plan for their life, a plan to give them hope and a future. The truths about God apply not only to my life, but to Simon's as well. 

It has been so wonderful to get to know him and love on him during our time here. I was unsure if it would feel like torture but I knew God would carry me through and He has. Simon is a sweet boy. He is quiet but there is always a look of mischief in his eyes. He often wanders off to somewhere he shouldn't be and entertains himself there. There have been many a day when we have arrived (or left) to Simon climbing the railings in the window by his bed (which was next to Isaac's). We have often found him wandering into the office just to see which drawers he could open or who he might find there. The staff would polietly send him on his way and he would contenteldy go find trouble elsewhere. 

Simon still sucks his middle two fingers like he was doing in the first photos we received of him when he was one. He loves to be tickeled and asks for more as soon as you stop. He snuggles sweetly in your lap and is content to let you carry him around but is equally content to be put down and left alone. There were many times when I would see him smile and come running to wrap both arms around my legs and hug tight. There were also many times when he walked idly by me without mention.

Like most of the kids at the orphanage, Simon loved having his picture taken and then looking to see his own face. He often made a game of it with me.

Today I watched and Isaac and Simon palled around together. Several times I saw them both climbing on Bill or sharing his lap. These were times when I needed to walk away and hand my broken heart to God. "Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight." These were moments when my own understanding failed me.

Simon was scheduled to leave for another permanent facility before we arrived. They never came to get him. I'm not sure which paperwork got delayed or who failed to come back to work after holiday, but I know God used it so that Bill and I could share this time with Simon. It is a wound that many never fully heal but a scar I am thankful to bare.

As we drove away today and Isaac snuggled into my lap saying "bye bye Mom Mum Mum (Mamma Mariam) bye bye" I thanked God for our story. I thanked God for his sovereignty and I asked God to guide our future. I didn't know what else to do.

Sometimes the things God calls us to are hard but it is often the hardest things that turn out the best.

The Power of One

As we (hopefully) near the end of our time here in Uganda I have been struck by a theme I am seeing emerge from our experiences. We have seen first hand what the power of one person can do.

I remember learning in college while going through a difficult time, that "One + God is always enough." No matter what you are facing if you cling to God you will have all that you need to make it through. 2 Tim 3:16-17 says "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Hebrews 13:21 shares a similar message. I am seeing this first hand in Uganda.

Over and over we are seeing the impact that one life can make if they are willing to follow God with abandon. First, we saw it in Ken and Cathy. When we met Ken back in September he shared with us that he had a very different plan for his life, one of great success in business (i think). However, he felt God's call to help orphans (something counter cultural, most orphanages are run by foreigners) and humbly set aside his plans to follow God. They didn't have a plan or funding or clear direction but they followed God and it has led them to incredible things. In addition to the children adopted through their ministry, they have helped countless kids by nursing them back to health and reuniting them with family. Lives are forever changed because one couple followed God's call to love orphans and widows.

Similarly, we were blown away by the story of Mama Maria who started Vision for Africa (which hosts the African Village Hotel). She is a German woman who led a wonderful life and at the age of 60 God called her to Uganda to finish out her life caring for others. Her properties include schools, medical clinics (at a great discount to the community), churches, orphanages, housing for staff, retreat centers and more. Every aspect of each facility is designed to teach a life skill that can lead to a better future. Every department from housekeeping to culinary arts is working on training people for successful careers. All of the proceeds she makes from the businesses on site goes back into caring for the orphans and school children.The amount of people that have been loved and cared for by her ministries is endless. Having stayed here for so long, we are now among them. (We have received 5 star, all-inclusive, honeymoon treatment for a Budget Inn price.) All this because one woman was willing to "retire" in Uganda and love others unconditionally.

Today we also met Kenneth at Reach One Touch One Ministries in Mukono. Kenneth had planned to move his family to the United States and provide a life and education for them there. He was actually already living in the USA when God spoke to his heart and led him back to Uganda. ROTOM works with the elderly (grandparents) in Uganda. An entire generation has been wiped out by HIV and AIDS. Many elderly people not only had to spend their life savings while watching their children die, but they are now left with raising the grandchildren left behind. Kenneth saw this need and realized there was no help in sight. He started ROTOM in 2003 and has watched it grow to help over 800 elderly individuals. In addition to caring for the elderly on all levels (building them homes, taking care of all their medical needs, food needs, etc) they also sponsor and care for the grandchildren; all without removing them from their community. One man who was willing to give up his life dream of raising a family in America has created an international program that is ministering to a forgotten community.

These are just a few of the people God has allowed to cross our path during our time in Uganda. I wish you could sit and hear their testimonies first hand about how God provided the finances or the land or the volunteers and how he continues to guide them daily. It is truly humbling to sit in the presence of someone who understands what it means to leave everything and follow Jesus.

It doesn't always require an intercontinental move or starting a program from scratch. Just imagine what God could do if more of us were willing to live our lives for Him; to truly follow wherever he leads...

...it is a thought I haven't finished yet. It leaves me speechless. I am asking God for a legacy that is bigger than me, a legacy that points directly to Him.

The Start to a Good College Essay

This past week we scrapped together the last of our money to journey to Jinja and visit the source of the world's longest river, the Nile. It was an incredible day that we won't soon forget. It started with a visit to hike this beautiful waterfall.

(It sort of reminds me of a scene from LOST)

The mountain contained caves where people worship lesser gods in hopes of gaining blessing. This particular cave is one people visit for fertility. The jars on the right each have two spouts. These families are asking for twins. They fill the jars with water from the waterfall and then leave them here for this snake (which thankfully did not come out to say hi).

These pots were at another cave. They are brought to offer thanks to the gods for blessing. There are special rituals for ridding ones life of bad luck and for bringing good luck. 

Daddy helping Isaac along the hike. This bridge brings you to the top of the waterfall where you can look down. There is also a pool here where people were washing as a form of worship. 

Our next stop led us to Kingfisher Resort for our boat ride out to the source of the Nile. They have this sign posted at the entrance to the resort. I LOVE this idea. No business, just relax :)

The boat was similar to a gondola ride in Venice. It was so peaceful out on the water.  

These birds are enjoying the talapia farms on Lake Victoria, free food!

This beautiful island sits right at the source of the Nile. It divides the river between two tribes. If you look close those aren't leaves, they are birds in the tree!

These small souvenir shops sit in the middle of the river. They are flooded and still open for business.

One of the many bridges that cross the Nile. 

The kingfisher bird

A monument to Gandhi, apparently some of his ashes were spread here at the source of the Nile.

This poor cat was stuck on the island with the souvenir shops. This is the extent of the dry ground it had to stand on.

We walked out this sign that marks the official start of the Nile. Isaac was not thrilled about getting his feet wet, but we made him dip in the Nile, he's Ugandan after all! You can't come this far and not go for it.

Family feet with the Nile

The next stop on our journey was truly incredible. African Village has another property in Jinja that overlooks the Nile river. One part of this property is called Prayer Mountain. It serves as a center for leadership retreats.

The land was cheap because it was originally used for witchcraft. It was land covered with thick brush, large rocks and a lot of snakes. Mama Maria purchased the land, cleared it of the brush and redeemed the space. This gate speaks clearly to all who enter, there is no other God but Jesus!

These small huts are spaced throughout the border of the property. When we sat in one as a family the air was thick with God's presence. We were all speechless (even the kids!). The huts are perfectly designed to cut out everything from your peripheral vision and allow you a private moment with a breath taking view.

This cross is illuminated at night for everyone in Jinja to see. (note the little hut on the right) I cannot even begin to express what a truly remarkable place this was. 

We stayed for tea at Prayer Mountain and enjoyed a great afternoon with the couple that runs the retreat center. We will absolutely stay here one night on our next visit to Uganda. 

After we left the mountain we drove through the town of Jinja itself. On the way home we stopped by yet another beautiful waterfall along the Nile river. 

This is an area where we hope to take the kids white water rafting one day. 

We are so thankful we made a way to fit in such beautiful sites in Uganda. Our hope is that we can use our photos and videos to help Isaac take pride in where he comes from. At the very least we teased Cara that this day would make a good start to a college essay one day. She might not realize it now, but having the opportunity to see these things first hand is a gift, we hope one day they will both look back and find value in our visit. 

Looking Back and Looking Forward

In addition to the daily parenting, Bill and I have been on an exhausting journey of planning, waiting, wondering and trusting. There are still some big "what if's" looming ahead of us. It is hard not to hope and wonder and wish for an ideal circumstance. It is even harder not to worry about the worst case scenario. Most days we are able to hang onto our faith and look just for the very next step. Other days are harder .

This Thursday was a great challenge. We heard from the family that filed for their passports with us. They had received their passports on Wednesday and were already moving into Kampala and scheduling their medical examinations. Our files were right on top of one another. How could it be that they had their passports and we did not?

I'll confess that I stared to despair. As I hand-washed our laundry, I was thankful to be on my knees. I knew all the right things in my head but my heart still sank a bit. The only thing I could do was cry out to God and use all of my strength to trust him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

We contacted the lawyer and he told us that there had been an error in our file but we might expect news today (Thursday). However, when we asked him if we should make our way into town he advised us to wait "just in case" it didn't work out.

Every beep or buzz on the phone caused us all to jump. Even Cara knew that if we didn't have our passports in the next 24 hours all hope of us flying home together as a family would be lost. 

Around noon we got the call that the passport was in and waiting for us at the lawyers office. What happened next felt a little like the Amazing Race. I ran into the restaurant and explained that we would miss lunch, "Do you have any bread we could take now to make sandwiches for the kids?" Meanwhile, Bill was on the phone contacting our driver as well as finding out if we could schedule our medical review for Friday. We were told we had to be at IOM by 3pm in order to get an appointment. That meant our driver had to get to us and get us into Kampala FAST!

We quickly packed bags and gave the kids a quick lunch (thank God for peanut butter!). Bill organized our paperwork and double checked everything. By 1pm our driver was here and we were jumping into the car. The kids quickly fell asleep on me as we weaved in and out of traffic toward the lawyers office (which had moved since our last visit). We sent a quick message home though we expected everyone was still asleep.

We arrived at the lawyers office by 2:15pm. Bill and our driver rushed inside while I waited with the sleeping children. What they don't show you on the Amazing Race is all the waiting that happens in between each leg of the journey. Soon Isaac and Cara were awake and crawling around the car while a woman was trying to sell me mangoes through the window.

By 2:43pm Bill and Raymond were back at the car and after paying for parking we were off toward IOM. It was on the other side of town but our driver knew a short cut through some residential areas (which were quite nice if we had had the time to notice them). Bill was organizing the additional paperwork and photo copies in the front seat while I was finding a snack for our driver who was having low blood sugar (he skipped out on his lunch to pick us up).

WE pulled up to IOM by 3:10 and quickly ushered the kids through the security check point. We were surprised to find it vastly empty. The very kind woman at the desk said we were too late. They had already taken the files for the Friday appointments (at 2:30, even though we were told 3 on the phone). We did our best to smile and kindly ask for her to reconsider, but there did not seem to be much we could do.

Thankfully all of Bill's organizing had gone well and we had all the correct paper work with us to schedule an appointment for Monday. We stopped to take a moment and appreciate the fact that for many families our timeline would be a blessing. We have moved very swiftly through a very difficult process. It wasn't our goal, but we weren't leaving empty handed.

The drive back to Mukono was less eventful. We sat calmly in the afternoon traffic and marveled at the fact that we had Isaac's passport in hand. The passport is a step that can delay families by weeks and ours had taken 8 days, even with a mistake. We were thankful.

We now await the next big unknown step in our journey. The IOM process can be a predictable 3 days or it can quickly turn into weeks worth of testing. The reasons why are lengthy and have many variables. In the end we can only take the next step. We are choosing not to worry about what's around the bend while still faithfully preparing for several scenarios. This is not an easy thing to do and takes surrendering our circumstances again and again and again.

At this moment, even with a quick IOM process the standard timeline places our Embassy interview on the day we are scheduled to fly out. We were told that it takes 48 hours after the interview to issue Isaac's Visa. This would mean Cara and Bill fly out as scheduled and Isaac and I remain behind (hopefully catching a flight on January 31st and not waiting for the next one on February 4th).

It has happened where things move quicker but we know that whatever the plan it will all make sense in the end.