One Week In

It is hard to believe it has only been 9 days since Isaac joined us permanently. So much about this experience mirrors bringing home an infant. Suddenly your days are scheduled around eating and sleeping (hopefully). You count down the moments to the next meal or nap. You spend much of your time snuggling them and cherishing when they fall asleep on you. You are constantly reminding them that you love them and wondering if they understand what you're saying. Each smile or giggle gives you hope that somehow the message is getting through. Every time they cry it feels new and you try all the basics first "Potty? Pee? Poop? Hungry? Sleepy?" If none of those work you keep trying new things until you finally solve the puzzle. "New toy? Go for a walk? Do you want to be held? Do you want to be put down?"

The days seem long but somehow time flies by.

Cara's take on it all: "I don't like when he throws a fit but mostly he's just funny"

We have had our first meal, our first bed wetting, our first bath, our first time out (maybe that one's not like an infant), our first morning snuggle in the bed and so many others. Each day we understand each other a little better and each day I swear he is getting a little bigger. I remember saying to Cara each night "I just need to take this all in because tomorrow you'll be bigger" and it's still true.

Things in our process are moving nicely but we are faced with the holiday delay. It seems everything in Kampala is closed until January 5th. We even tried to hit up a better pizza place today and found that it was closed for holiday.

So far we have received our rulings and applied for his long form birth certificate. We have also taken his passport photos in preparation for applying for that as soon as the birth certificate is in. We have requested an appointment with the embassy to get our blue form (don't ask me, I'm just told we need it LOL) and make sure all of our documents are in order. We are hoping to be scheduled as soon as holiday is over.

After that we have his medical appointment and follow up appointment to discuss the results.

After that we begin working with the embassy for his Visa. Each of these steps can take time and it depends greatly on whose desk your paperwork lands. We continue to trust God with the timeline.

Yesterday marked the halfway point in the trip for Bill and Caraline. We are asking God that it would also be the halfway point for Isaac and me. Ultimately, he knows the plan. It's just up to me to savor every moment and trust him with the process.

Christmas in Uganda

It has been wonderful to hear from friends and family this Christmas. I admit I avoided facebook a bit. It was too hard to see everyone in front of their trees enjoying a traditional holiday. I typically pride myself (my first mistake, pride) in always celebrating Christ at Christmas and not letting my circumstances determine my joy. It has been very hard the past several years to have yet another Christmas where I felt like my family was split between two continents. This year I would finally have that and I expected to be overwhelmed with joy (my second mistake, expectations).

On the 23rd we would normally be working as a family to help with our churches Christmas Eve Eve celebration (we celebrate on the 23rd so that no school staff is asked to be away from their family for the holiday and so that many families can enjoy traditions together on Christmas Eve). I was missing a chance to worship and celebrate our good news in addition to Christmas. We walked into the restaurant at our hotel and they had put Christmas lights up on all the bushes and trees. Just a few hours earlier I had texted my mom about "I'm not sure how you decorate a banana tree for Christmas". I cried. I couldn't help it, it was such an unexpected piece of Christmas.

The next morning, Christmas Eve, we walked into the TV room to see this:

It's the box for the Christmas tree. Either Ugandan's really do find a use for everything, or they are mocking me. Either way it made me laugh.

The night of Christmas Eve our hotel hosted the most wonderful dinner celebration. It was outside under the stars, next to the pool. There were candles on all the tables and lanterns in the trees. We sang Christmas music and worshiped together. We unknowingly sat under a tree with white flowers and when the wind blew all the petals rained down and looked like snow in the candle light! God was clearly working overtime to heal my homesick heart. 

(Waiting for all the guests to arrive)

We each had a scripture on our plate (they are in German because the woman that runs the hotel is from Germany- Shannon we thought of you!)

The choir of volunteers from Germany.

(Sorry I forgot to take pictures of the African drums, we were too busy dancing in our seats!)

They showed a video with kids from the school (African Village Hotel is more like a village than a hotel) singing their favorite Christmas songs and traditions. We celebrated with traditional African drums and dancing. Then we all put our finger prints on a paper Christmas tree to unite the fact that we are all away from home but celebrating together.

Christmas day started like any other day. We didn't have a big tree or stockings but Father Christmas did bring each of the kids a handmade doll. I wasn't sure what to expect from Cara. Would she be disappointed? She had asked Santa to bring our dog, Reeses, from home. Nope, she was thrilled and couldn't wait to show everyone here her special handmade fairy from Father Christmas. 

After breakfast we got dressed for church and headed out the gate of our hotel and through the banana trees for the short walk to church. There is something about walking along a dirt path in sandals that made me think our Christmas was probably more traditional than it has ever been.

Next we napped, which I will confess helped my mood quite a bit. Then it was off to bounce in the bounce houses. Yes, our Christmas included outdoor bounce houses. I'm not sure we will ever be able to say that again. 

(Only Cara pictured, Isaac was too interested in lunch to bounce LOL)

We finished out the day by facetiming with our families (who had finally woken up by then- 8 hours apart). I'm not sure how well they could hear us, they were showing a kids movie in the area of the hotel where we can use the wifi, but it was nice for them to finally see Isaac live and not just in a photo. He said all their names over and over and waved and blew kisses to his new family.

It may have felt more like 4th of July than Christmas, but it was still a great day.

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We also received word from the orphanage that they had accepted a new child on Christmas Eve. This sweet boy was in hospital and fighting to make it through the night. I can't share the details but this boy is in worse shape than anything I have ever seen (even in TV or movies). It has been a weight on my heart this holiday season. The need doesn't go away just because it is Christmas. Ken and Cathy spent their holiday paying hospital bills and checking in on him. I have so much love and respect for them and what they do. It is not easy to rescue these Children. It is not easy to be the one that takes them in when everyone else has turned away and given up. My hope is that I'll be able to report to you soon that this sweet boy is well. Please join me in praying for him. God knows his name and every hair on his head.

You Get What You Pay For

We just had to share with you about our safari adventure. As you might imagine going on safari in Africa is quite expensive, but if you're already here it seems like a sin not to try and fit one in. We want to be able to show Isaac pictures of himself experiencing Uganda with his family.

Bill and I are pretty good planners and very thrifty, we thought we found a way to make it happen on a very small budget. We had a great plan, we would travel between Christmas and New Years while all the offices are on holiday. We packed our bags and told our hotel we would be back on Monday night.

We were back home the very next night, out of money and full of stories. We could share a lot of details about how things didn't go quite as expected. I can't think of anyone back home that would willingly repeat our journey. However, I am glad we had the chance to go on such a rare trip as a family.

Instead of complaining, I want to share with you that in all things there is a reason to praise God. For me, it was a beautiful moment that happened after our meal Friday night. We found a very small place in the game park where people bring tents to camp and they had a small bar that cooked food and offered music. We were filthy, tired and frustrated but that didn't stop my children from lighting up the whole room by dancing to the music and laughing as they took turns jumping into my arms. We watched as the sun set over the Nile River and made new friends as more and more children came over to join my two in their silly games. Cara cried when we finally had to call it a night and head to where we were sleeping. She knew that she would never see those kids again and her heart was breaking. There are so many things we could have cried about that day but Cara cried out of her love for people and her gift of instant friendship and fun.

We DID in fact drive through the game park and managed to see animals. So in the end, it all worked out. However I'll quote Bill when he said "Let's let this trip be the hiccup in our Uganda journey. This can be the thing we look back about and wish it were different, but let's pray the rest of the adoption journey goes smoothly." Amen.

Showing Isaac the long journey home.

Baboons in the road on the way to the waterfall

Blue bumble bee?

Isaac eating leaves off a tree for lunch (our guide assured us they were safe)

This is an ant hill (and probably a small one in comparison!)

Bill & Raymond  

My new favorite family photo

Cara under the rainbow

More baboons. These guys wouldn't move, they were defending their territory.

These were the dancers at dinner that inspired Cara and our view as the sun set.

ferry across the Nile

Isaac waved to every animal and said "Bye"

Our safari princess

Water Buffalo

Isaac waving to the animals

Stopped to watch the hippos

Hyena

The World's Best Big Sister

Growing a family is a strange thing. It seems like such a simple and predictable process. You grow up, you get married, you have kids. However, there are many of us in this world that know that it is not that simple. Perhaps it's waiting to find someone who sweeps you off your feet and is also worthy of your respect. Perhaps it's infertility of some kind. For us it was the ever changing world of international adoption.

There are books on each phase of life "Boundaries in Dating", "Love & Respect", "What to Expect When You're Expecting", "The Connected Child." There are loving friends and family members and even social workers and counselors to love, lead and guide you along the way, but nothing can fully prepare you for what's ahead.

There is a plaque in our bathroom at home that reads "Faith is trusting that when you come to the edge of all you know you will either find something to stand on or you will be taught now to fly." I have lived my whole life this way, trusting God for the next big step and leaping further than I knew how.

I remember when we had Cara one of the unexpected blessings no one had prepared me for was how much more I would love my husband as a result of having a child. Watching him take care of us during those first few days, seeing him rise to every challenge and observing him as he cradled our new treasure in his arms overwhelmed me with a deep love and new appreciation for the man I married.

This time as we grew our family I expected that watching Bill with our son would fill me with another new level of love and it has. Seeing him laugh with Isaac and watching them play is priceless. He is so good with him and Isaac adores him. What blindsided me this time was Cara. We have watched her and loved her for five years. I have seen such beautiful things in her and everyone that has spent time with her confirmed for us that she was very ready to be a big sister. I thought I knew what to expect but God has overwhelmed my heart once again.

It has been such a humbling and beautiful experience to see her deep love for Isaac. She truly cherishes him. Don't get me wrong, we are experiencing normal sibling jealousy over sharing Mommy and Daddy and realizing she can't control every situation...but beneath that I am seeing a level of love that is beautiful and new.

For example: She thinks of Isaac in everything we do. "Watch out for that step, it might be too big for Isaac", "Mom, show Isaac the boda boda, he loves those". The first time I had to put Isaac in time out she said "Don't be mean to my brother!" (obviously I wasn't, but her protective heart for him is adorable) 

Cara has also come out of her shell this past week. Ugandans are the most friendly people you will ever meet. It is nearly impossible to walk by someone without receiving a greeting that involves eye contact, stopping to talk face to face, and usually a handshake or in Cara's case a pat on the head, hand on the shoulder or someone getting down on her level and grabbing her arms saying "how is baby?" Cara has been a little overwhelmed by this and has been mostly shy with the people that address her. Most meals at our hotel are served buffet style, which means you have to interact with someone to get your food. Cara has asked me to go with her every time she needed something (partially because she is took short to see into the chaffing dishes and partially because she is too shy to speak to the staff.) The first night we had Isaac with us it created a new family routine at dinner. As I looked up from cutting Isaac's meet I saw my shy little girl walking through the buffet line on her own and filling up her plate. She smiled, spoke loudly and clearly and even remembered to say thank you. Then to top it all of she came back to the table and asked what I wanted for dinner and she bravely went back a second time and asked for the items I needed. After checking if anyone else needed something, she happily sat down and after her meal without complaining (which can also be a challenge sometimes).

Cara has also gotten very used to her bedtime routine. We love reading books and saying prayers together. She always asks me to rub her back for a few min and stay with her for a snuggle. A new brother, in a new bed, with a new family meant that Cara fell asleep the first night at the foot of our bed, still in her clothes while listening to loud crying. She never complained. Night after night (and nap time after nap time) Cara climbs into bed and sets a good example for her brother by laying quietly and swiftly falling asleep without any of her usual routine. Last night we managed to fit in prayers again and Cara started to ask me something but I shushed her until after prayers. "I was going to ask if you would rub my back while we prayed." So I sat down to rub her back for a bit and she said "It's okay Mom, if you stay to rub my back it might upset Isaac to see you." Once again she selflessly gave up her comfort for her brothers.

I could go on and on about the ways that Cara has selflessly made room in her life for Isaac but she has done even more than that. She has loved him unconditionally even when is isn't ready to hold her hand or accept her hugs. She is teaching him words and sharing her world with him. She checks on him often while he is sleeping and waits in anticipation for him to wake up so the fun can begin.

It is beautiful to watch her grow up so fast seemingly overnight. I will miss my sweet little bitty but I am so in love with the worlds best big sister

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***Since writing this (but before we could post it) the most hilarious thing happened. Cara has been longing for Isaac to want to sit on her lap. At the end of a long car trip Isaac had fallen asleep on me and I needed to get our bags out of the car. I asked Cara to sit on the step and I offered to give a sleepy Isaac to her. "He might not stay asleep, but let's give it a try." I sat Isaac facing Cara and he immediately snuggled in and put his head on her shoulder. It was priceless. She was so happy. Then I turned around to get our bags and moments latter I hear "HE'S PEEING ON ME!" and she started to cry. I laughed so hard. Her beautiful moment, ruined. Cara could have freaked out and pushed him off or tried to get up and run away, but she sat there (crying) and hugged him tight until I could save her. It will go down as one of the funniest first memories of us being a family.

Little Man

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:

Meeting for the first time. He is nervous but never cried.

Right before mommy lost it. Both kids on my lap for the first time :)

All on his own Isaac decided to come in and give Daddy his first hug.

The nervous face is long gone now. Such a sweet moment.

Mommy was next and she wouldn't let go.

Day 2 - first family selfie

On the way back from court Isaac fell asleep on me.

Learning already. (Thanks Grandma -Isaac loves this! Cara does too :)

The porch became our special family spot. 

This was the face that greeted us each day we returned to the orphanage.

Little man helping Daddy build the playset.

Always together

Learning from the First Words book.

Happy Birthday Cara

This is my life now. Two sleepy kids sharing one lap :)