Sometimes life just hits you

My cup runneth over. This is something my mom refers to from time to time. It is a phrase that speaks to her about the abundance of emotion that can come with life. The idea of being filled to the point of overflow, not in an "i'm drowning" kind of way but in a "blown away" and humbling kind of way.

I had one of those moments today. I stood in one of the rooms in our house (it may be important to note that this room was clean and I was not the one that cleaned it. That fact alone may have been the catalyst that allowed this moment to happen.) and I looked at the walls. I saw shelves filled with books and photo frames: our honeymoon, Bill's grandfather, a beautiful baby frame that I never had time to put a picture in (#reallife)...I looked up and saw artwork on the walls from our many trips to Africa. As my eyes moved across the room from the posters of renaissance paintings that hung on our walls in college to wall clings of sesame street characters my heart welled up and so did my eyes. My cup runneth over.

Could I be this lucky? Is it possible to be 35 and already have a life so full of beautiful moments? I looked at the treadmill where I had just been running. How many miles have I logged on that machine? Running to fit into a wedding dress, running to burn off the baby weight, running to fight through stressful moments, running with praise music in my ears and almost falling off because I started dancing with joy!

I looked at the toys in the corner and thought back to all the afternoons pretending. As I looked at the peeling and weathered version of Elmo, Ernie and Cookie Monster I cried harder as I realized that we don't watch Sesame Street anymore. When did that stop? How long will they let me hold onto these silly wall decorations before they are embarrassed?

Their little lives bring me the greatest joy. Also the most stress I have ever known. I woke up today cranky, thinking to myself "if that boy doesn't start sleeping..." and I couldn't think of even a slightly reasonable way to finish that sentence. I felt powerless, frustrated and tired.

The days can be like that. The choices we have made and the paths we have followed have been full of faith-filled risks. They have led to some of the most incredible moments and some of the hardest seasons we have ever had to face.