Heartbroken but not Hopeless

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself...

Today we recieved an email from Lisa (our social worker with Helping Hands Adoption Agency) stating that our expected wait time once we reach the waiting list is being increased from 1-2 months to at least 6 months (probably more). In addition the wait time between accepting our refferal/match and our court date is being increased from 4-6 weeks to 4 months. Added up that means that we just added a minimum of 10 months onto our time table.

When our application was approved back in November we were given an estimated process time of 9 months to 1 year. It now looks as if it will be closer to 2 years. At least we're already 7 months in.

Ultimately (after emailing back and forth for futher explination) the reasons behind these delays benifit the lives of the Children in Uganda and for that I am greatful. The court system is filling up with families interested in adopting from Uganda (great news for the millions of orphans). With each case the legal system is realizing just how horrific the condidtions for Ugandan children have become. They are arresting parents for neglect and abandoment based on the photos taken when children arrive in the orphanges. They are also cracking down on the types of children eligible for adoption. For example a mother that states she does not know who the father is or where he is, would previously have been allowed to place the child up for adoption. The new laws now require her to present all of her sexual partners for DNA testing to prove who the father is, and that he is unwilling and unable to care for the child. Situations like this take time. In addition the court system is requiring more and more documentation to prove that every effort has been made to find a living relative for the children found abandoned. This takes our lawyers aproximately 6 months to accomplish.

It is incredibly encouraging that the legal system in Uganda is taking responsibility for their orphans and doing everything in their power to make sure that children in their country are raised in healthy living situations. However, at the moment I grieve the additional time without our son. I can't even bring myself to go near his room knowing that the crib will continue to remain empty.

I have had to remind myself time and time again that God has brought us on this journey because there are children that need homes....not because Bill and I need more children. It's not about expanding our family as much as it is about becoming a family for Ugi.

Still I sit here heartbroken. My heart was set on seeing his face by the end of the summer and holding him soon after. I can't even begin to explain how it is possible to love a child you've never met so deeply. To know that he is waiting for you and there is nothing you can do to change that.

I will continue to pray that if he's not already there that God will guide his way to the Tenderheart Babies Home where Ken and Cathy can lovingly care for him until we are able to. I will continue to be thankful for the missionaries that hold the children during vacinations while we cannot. I will continue to trust that God has a plan to love, comfort and provide for Ugi and I will continue to be thankful for any part that we get to play in that plan.

Photos from the orphange:

Immunizations

It's rare for an orphange to have a fun open place for the kids to play.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is hug
 them for the mommies that can't.

The song keeping me going today is "Safe" by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong he'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

Chorus:
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms