The Healing Process

Recently I had the privileged to visit a friend who was in the hospital. She had an infection in her knee that had come on suddenly and caused a great deal of pain. Once the doctors stabilized her and began a course of treatment they were confident in, she began to feel better. However, the next day the doctors placed a heating pad on her knee to increase blood flow and allow the infection to clear out of her knee. This process was so painful my friend could barely stand it. It was awful to watch her feel that way but the doctors assured her it was part of her recovery.

I have been thinking about Isaac and the fact that he has already gone through so much to be where he is. He is safe. I am so thankful that he is being cared for and loved at the orphanage. I am so thankful that he has seen our picture and knows we are coming soon. However, the next phase of his healing will hurt more than it feels like it's helping. Leaving the safety of the orphanage will be traumatizing to him. I hate that in order for him to finally be home means more loss for him. Sometimes the healing process hurts. Sometimes you have to break a bone in order to set it straight. Sometimes you have clean the wound with chemicals that sting in order for healing to begin. Sometimes in order to come home you have to leave all that is familiar and everything and everyone you have ever known. This feels so unfair. However, just like a doctor that is setting a bone or curing an infection, I have to move forward with confidence that while my current actions may cause more pain than Isaac has ever known, they are his only chance at a healthy future.

It hurts knowing that it will get harder before it gets better. It hurts knowing that the need for adoption only exists because something has gone terribly wrong in Isaac's life. My heart breaks for you my sweet, sweet boy but please know that from now on you will never cry alone. With each step we take we will be right by your side. We will do all that we can to comfort you when you are scared and to earn your trust. We will be patient with you as you struggle to find safety again. We will hold you, if you let us, while the emotions overtake you. We will never give up and one day we will begin again, together, to walk toward healing, hope and the future you deserve.

Nwkagala. (I love you)